Homeowners

What Happens to a Shared Home After a Divorce or Breakup? Here’s What to Know Whether You’re Married or Not

Breaking up is hard enough. But breaking up and figuring out what happens to the home you once shared? That’s a whole new level of complicated.

Whether it’s a marriage unraveling or a split between long-term partners who never tied the knot, the fate of the roof over your head often becomes a touchpoint for financial stress.

Who gets the home? Do you have to sell? Can one person buy the other out? And how does all of this shake out even if there was never a wedding ring involved?

Let’s break down the possible outcomes—plus the variables between married and unmarried couples when it comes to splitting real estate.

If you’re married, it’s about more than the deed

In a divorce, a home is typically treated as a marital asset. That means it’s subject to division—regardless of who’s on the title of the home.

Ownership rights depend on when the home was bought, whether you paid for it with joint or separate money, and which state you live in.

In community property states such as California, Arizona, and Texas, assets acquired during the marriage are generally split.

In most other states, known as equitable distribution states, courts divide assets based on what’s fair—not necessarily equal.

“Having gone through a divorce myself, I’m keenly aware of the ins and outs, yet when I meet with clients, they truly believe it’s as simple as you take this, and I’ll take that, we are done,” said Jennifer Vokolek of RE/MAX DFW Associates in Dallas.

“Especially in Texas, that is not the case,” said Vokolek. “Texas is a community property state, which means that unless you owned it before marriage, it doesn’t matter who’s on the lien. Both are on the title, 50-50.”

The three most common divorce scenarios

Once the dust settles, most couples face one of three common outcomes when it comes to marital real estate.

“If a couple is married, the attorneys will decide how best to divide that asset,” said Betsy Ronel, a global luxury specialist and associate broker with Coldwell Banker in Katonah, N.Y. “Some of the most common methods are the home is sold, one spouse buys out the other and they stay in the marital home while the other moves out, or the home stays in the family.”

Here's what that looks like:

Sell the home and split the proceeds: This is often the simplest solution. The home is listed, the mortgage is paid off, and the remaining equity is divided.

One person buys the home: Here, one spouse refinances or assumes the mortgage in their name and pays the other for their share. The catch? The buying party has to qualify for the new loan and cover the full financial load alone. They may also have to take on a higher mortgage rate if rates have gone up since they initially bought the property.

Co-own the home post-divorce: Though less common, some exes choose to keep the home jointly—especially when kids are involved—to maintain stability. In some cases, the kids may live in the home full-time while the divorced parents switch off being in the home.

“Once the kids are out of the home, the home is sold and proceeds divided up, or one spouse gets the entire proceeds as the divorce settlement,” Ronel added.

What if you’re not married?

Things get murkier when you’re unmarried and share a home. Without a legal marriage framework, you’re not in family court—you’re navigating property law.

If both partners are on the title, it’s treated like a business partnership. If only one is, and the other contributed financially, resolving ownership gets more complicated.

The lack of built-in legal protections for unmarried couples makes upfront planning critical.

“I’ve seen agreements drawn up should a break-up occur, and similar things are outlined in the agreement,” said Ronel.

A cohabitation agreement will nail down who owns what, who pays what, and what happens if the relationship ends.

Who’s on the title (and the loan)

If both names are on the deed, each partner has a legal stake in the property. But even if only one name is on it, the other may still have a claim—especially if they’ve helped with mortgage payments, renovations, or upkeep.

Financial responsibility is tied to the mortgage, not just the relationship. So even if you emotionally move on, if your name is on the loan, you’re still on the hook unless the debt is refinanced or the home is sold.

“If a partner moves into the other partner’s home they need to decide about the financial obligations and ownership rights as well,” Ronel advised. “Best to be transparent and have things in order because we never know what life will throw at us.”

What if only one person wants to stay?

Whether married or not, if one person wants to remain in the home, they’ll need to refinance the mortgage or assume the loan (if they’re eligible to do so) in their own name to release the other from liability.

They will need to qualify for the new loan as their lender will look at their credit scores and want to make sure they can afford the payments. That process can be tough if the original loan was based on two incomes.

Even if both agree informally on who gets to remain in the home after a breakup, without a legal change in title and mortgage responsibility, both parties remain financially on the hook.

Try not to let emotions lead the deal

Keeping a home for as long as you can after a break-up may feel like a win. But if you can’t afford the mortgage and maintenance, it could cause more stress later.

The smarter move may be letting go of the property and using the equity to start fresh.

“One’s primary residence is one of their biggest assets,” said Ronel. And as such, the money from a sale can be used to move on.

Bottom line? Know your options, consult a real estate-savvy attorney, and have honest financial conversations early—whether you’re married or not.